Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#192 In which our hero relates the activities of this year’s Yule.

I’m on vacation right now, which partly explains the lack of posts. The other big factor, of course, is how lazy I am. Especially when I’m on vacation.

So, Christmas. It was great, of course. I mean, we have two little girls under the age of four, so they’re excited about the dumbest things and this giggly excitement is contagious.

We only hosted my mom for Christmas this year, which was a nice change from the crazy big (but good crazy) group of family we had last year. So even with the tearing of paper and squeezing of gifts, it was pretty low-key.

Macey is only one and a half, so she doesn’t get anything about the holiday yet. Lily is three, and she talks about Santa and gifts, but honestly, she’s still a little young to really get it, I think. I mean, we told her that Santa was going to come down the chimney and leave gifts, and she was all for that; but she didn’t really seem to grasp the entire concept, at least not un-prompted. We came down in the morning and the cookies and milk had been eaten (by SANTA! I enthused) and the stockings were full of candy and gifts (from SANTA!) and there were a ton of gifts under the tree (from SANTA!) and Lily was like, oh yeah! Right! Santa brought that stuff! What can I play with next? Then again, maybe she’s just a whole lot more calm about it than I was.

The play kitchen was a hit, but not the nuclear experience I was hoping for. Both girls opened the doors and turned the handles, then abandoned it for other toys. Of course, I was hoping for this kind of reaction.

(Funny aside -- have you seen the commercial that uses this footage? I can’t remember what company it is right now… but in the TV commercial, it’s clearly NOT a Nintendo 64 that the kids are opening. The front of the box has been superimposed with an image of an old-style tin robot. First time I saw that, I thought, those kids are getting that excited about a dumb robot? It wasn’t until I found the clip on YouTube that I noticed the switch. Damn advertising people -- screwing with our minds! Again!)

But the real hit of the day? This damn thing:

Hey! That’s not my child!

We found this dumb thing in a catalog somewhere and bought it on a lark. We figured that the girls has enjoyed playing with the box that the freezer came in (until Lily peed in it, of course) so maybe they’d like this. And it was only 20 bucks.

Of course, they LOVED it. Couldn’t get them out of it. Everyone had to come inside the play castle at some point (except grandma, who politely declined). It’s still extremely popular a week later.

The other big hit of the day? These stupid $1 plastic Slinkys that The Scientist got at the dollar store. Leap Pad games? Realistic, articulated dolls? Pop-up books? Bah, don’t waste my time! I mean, look at my Slinky! It’s red! And slinky!

It was a good Christmas, gift-wise, for The Scientist and I as well. My superpowers did not fail me, I did indeed get an iPod. But it was the new Shuffle, not the Nano like I thought. This thing is ridiculous. It’s smaller than a matchbook, and has a GIG of memory. The manual says it can hold something like 250 songs. Now, I’m not a big music guy, so that’s pretty much a lifetime worth of songs for me. It’s crazy. After I go through my CD collection and cherry-pick my favorite songs, I think I’ll still have trouble filling it up. Fortunately, The Scientist also gave me $30 worth of gift certificates to iTunes, so I’m good. This gift comes from my sister-in-law; it is unexpected and really pretty cool. And she got The Scientist one, too, so we don’t have to fight.

I also got some cool books, and some DVDs. Oddly enough, I got Near Dark -- a rather obscure horror movie which is nevertheless awesome -- twice. I’ll be returning one to pick up another obscure horror movie, Prince of Darkness. Two thumbs way up!

It was a nice Christmas all the way around… well, that is, until my wife got sick. She started feeling back Christmas morning, spend the day in bed the following day, and pretty much hasn’t gotten better yet. She’s at the doctors right now; undoubtedly telling them that she understands that there’s some virus going around but that they nevertheless need to shut the fuck up about it and give her some meds to make her feel better RIGHT NOW.

I’m just praying the girls don’t pick up this ick or, worse yet, me. Because I’m a huge pussy when I get sick. And seeing how hard this thing has kicked The Scientist’s ass, it would damn-near kill me.

So, Santa? One more Christmas request? Let this sickness pass though our house quickly and painlessly and I’ll be a good boy all year. Thank you.


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