Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#067 In which our hero recounts recent conversations.

Recent conversations:

(Remember, the Scientist works in an in-vitro fertilization lab. Recently, the lab ordered new "visual aides" for the "donation room.")
The Scientist: Our new playboys arrived today.
ME: Oh yeah? Can you bring some home?
TS: You want me to bring some home?
ME: Yeah! After the guys are done... with ... them... Um. Maybe not.
TS: Maybe not.
Concerning the little girl, who was acting sick.
ME: Is she running a fever?
TS: I don't think so. She didn't feel warm. And I've got "mommy hands" now, so I can tell if she's feverish just by touch.
ME: Yeah, I think you develop "mommy hands" once you stop doing dishes.
TS: Ha, ha, ha... fuck you.
Me and the Scientist speaking to our daughter (who, remember, is one), after I had done something incredibly (in my opinion) funny or (in my wife's opinion) dumb:
TS: Lily, your daddy's isn't always as funny as he thinks he is.
ME: Lily, your mama doesn't always appreciate how funny your daddy is.
TS: Lily, sometimes your daddy is delusional.
ME: Oh yeah? Lily, sometimes your mama sucks a dick.
TS: Lily, sometimes your daddy likes it when your mama sucks a dick.
ME: Lily, your daddy always likes it when your mama sucks a dick.


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