WIFE LIFE

(SCENE: Kids are in bed, we’re both laying on the bed, I’m flipping through the channels, looking for something to watch.)

THE SCIENTIST: Is this a new Studio 60? I thought it was canceled.
ME: I guess they’re going to burn through the ones they’ve already shot.
TS: I can’t watch this, I need to get to bed.
(I reach for the remote to turn it off)
TS: Don’t turn it off!
(After it ends, I turn off the TV and roll over to put the remote on the bed stand.)
TS: Where are you going?
ME: Just putting the remote away.
TS: Oh. Stay up here and hang out with me, ‘kay?
ME: Okay.
(The Scientist snuggles in.)
TS: Are you going to go run?
ME: What?
TS: Are you going to go for a run? Exercise?
ME: You, you just asked me to hang out with you. Like, 30 seconds ago!
TS: Don’t make fun of me!

And that is what life is like with my wife.

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