Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#034 In which our hero recovers.

Well, I'm not dead.

Matter of fact, here I am five days after my last post and I'm feeling much, much better. The Hand, Foot and Mouth disease has finally been beaten back. It's that kind of feeling where it becomes difficult to remember just how miserable you were just a few days ago; leading to things such as saying to yourself, "oh, come now, was it really that bad?"

Yes. Yes it was. Even after the fever was gone and the red bumps where fading, my mouth was still full of sores or, as the online literature I read called them, ulcers. Ulcer is a much better word, a hundredfold more fitting to describe the burning, aching, and oh-so-painful wounds in my mouth. These wounds are all but healed, now just a not-so-much-angry-as-just-miffed red swelling to show where they used to be.

You don't really fully appreciate eating until you can't do it any more. It feels so good to eat now! I can even eat salty crackers, or chips with pointy edges, or spicy foods and not howl in pain! I can LIVE again!

I'll tell you, I think I've stumbled across the best diet in the world; one guaranteed to work. There's nothing like excruciating pain in your mouth to curb your appetite. All you need is a mouth full of ulcers and you can eat anything you want! Pasta! Potatoes! Chocolate! Crisco right out of the can! Knock yourself out! Of course, with all that mouth pain you could eat anything you want, but you won't want to. I'll call it the Hand-Foot-and-Stuff your Mouth disease diet.

I can taste the millions now.

Okay, I promise I'm now done talking about sores in my mouth. Thank you for your patience.


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