Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#072 In which our hero is sleepy.

A couple random things, since I'm too tired to construct a coherent post (the "why" of which will be explained in #2).

#1. I didn't even know all of that could fit in my butt!

The last two weeks have been a little stressful for me at work. This is notable mostly because I am never stressed out at work (unless they are screwing me on a raise or the like). However, the last two weeks have been really stressful, and I just recently figured out why.

We just got some new business that involves me writing a manual of sorts, that lists everything that this company's local stores can do to increase business. The company (see how I cleverly avoid naming the company? Oh yes, I am sly and savvy) has a ton of little business-building programs, but no central repository for them. This is basically what we've been hired to create.

Anyway, in our initial meeting with the client, we sat down and started to discuss all the programs, making sure I understood them, since I would be the one writing them. However, after two hours of this, they were obviously bored talking about these programs, and ended up just throwing a giant heap of brochures, flyers and print-outs at me and saying, "The rest of what you need to know is in there."

Well, naturally, the rest of what I needed to know wasn't in there. So I'm basically been making things up and pulling "facts" out of my ass in order to meet the deadline. This fills me with the same shaky fear that I felt whenever I didn't study for a test in high school.
"What are the primary program goals of the "Point of Sale Proposition" display? Shit, I should know this. Didn't we talk about this at that meeting? Where are my notes... no, nothing in my notes. Well, hell, guess I'll just invent something that sounds reasonable."
It's crazy how often I have to do something like this... and even crazier how often the client loves what I wrote.

#2. Did I smoke a bunch of pot and forget about it?

I just looked at my eyes in the men's room mirror, and they are seriously bloodshot. "What the hell?" I thought... then it dawned on me that I didn't go to bed last night until 2:30AM; and I got up at 6:30AM. And I pretty much did the same thing the night before.

But, you see, it's not my fault. It's Pharaoh's fault.

I went to Target to buy Freedom Force, but, alas, they did not have it. And, since I had just finished Starcraft, I was jonesing for a new game, and needed a fix. I saw this game, Pharaoh, and it looked interesting. I had seen it before, and it looked interesting. Basically like "Civilization" set in ancient Egypt.

And now, I am totally obsessed.

I think what appeals to me is not just the cool graphics (which are very cool, don't get me wrong) but that if I screw up, an enemy army doesn't automatically roll in and wipe me out.

Funny side note: I was really hooked on "Civilization" when it first came out. This was v.1, where the graphics sucked and everything was a little square with an icon to represent what it was. I had been playing for hours and was doing the best I ever had... and I had just created my most fearsome and advanced troop type yet: knights. Knights! On horseback! It was just about then when the Chinese appeared at the fringes of my country with an icon I hadn't seen before... tanks. I had just made knights, my enemy had tanks. It didn't take long for my civilization to be but a memory.

So Pharaoh is my new obsession. The spirit of Ra commands you!

#3. I'm not joking, I'm really tired.

The Scientist works tomorrow and I'll be watching the little girl all day. Man, I'm beat. I should really get to bed early tonight... but ancient Egyptian empires aren't going to build themselves, now are they?


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