Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#086 In which our hero has his good mood diminished.

A short interlude before discussing the new office situation.

To recap: The Scientist and I are expecting our daughter to arrive, literally, any day now; I found a new job that seems to be promising; I was unemployed for only a month, meaning that we didn't have to dip into the savings at all, and are practically none the worse for ware; now that I'm employed again we can move forward with buying me a much-needed new car. With all this seemingly good news, what could possible break my happy mood?

The dog, of course.

I don't know why I'm surprised. Things had been going far too well with him recently... after he was so sick and lost a bunch of weight we were able to tweak his meds and change his diet, which has both firmed up his poop (much more important than you will ever understand) and put weight back on him. And like I've said before, my life will be much simpler when he dies, but I don't want him to suffer.

We had corralled him in the tiled laundry room/foyer with a clever combination of Invisible Fence, warning flags, a door-stopper and a literal application of cookies. All seemed to be going well, and we were even able to lower his drugs.

Well, a week ago he decided to start chewing on the doorframe. Now please remember, Tucker weighs 90 pounds, and when he wants to chew something, he chews it. Wire cages have fallen to his mighty jaws in the past.

Now, I guess I can understand chewing on the door-jab... this leads outside. Well, it actually leads out to the garage, the door of which would be closed if we weren't home, but I'm sure he hasn't planned that far in advance.

But what gets me, is he also chewed the door between rooms. This door is already open, I mean, we have it propped open so he can't accidentally shut it. I don't see how this benefits his escape plan in any way.

He has also chewed a random corner.

But the real capper, is when we came home to find this:

Yep, he managed to pull the molding completely off the wall. Needless to say, The Scientist and I are at a loss as to what to do. We can't leave him outside, we can't kennel him, and even leaving him in a reasonable spacious area with water and a soft bed don't seem to be cutting it. I think we just need to come to the realization that the dog is going to destroy small portions of our new house on a regular basis until he dies. Of molding overdose, I'm sure.

PS: To any amateur dog behaviorists out there... save it. I know that the dog is exercising nervous behavior with his chewing, that he's not necessarily trying to escape. Know that we've talked to experts and will probably continue to do so. If you really have a solution, I'd love to hear it. But if you just want to just call me an idiot... take a breath, count to 10, and change the channel.


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