Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#116 In which our hero talks about random junk.

Blah. This is about the fourth time I've started a new posting, but got bored halfway through it and started over. I enjoy Web sites that have longer, coherent stories with a beginning, middle and ending... but I'm discovering that my mind works in spits and spurts, and isn't always conducive to this kind of thing.

So, to make my mind happy and to alleviate my guilt in not posting in more than a week, I present a virtual grab-bag of stuff.

There's a little boy at the girls' daycare named Loki. Yeah, Loki. As in the Norse god of mischief. Anyway... he's a little older than Lily and they have become fast friends. But, for whatever reason, Loki has become the scapegoat for just about everything that bothers Lily. For example, if she's walking and trips and falls, she's say, "Daddy, Loki pushed me down!" I was a little worried that this kid was trouble, because every little bruise or scratch was because, "Loki kicked me!" or the like.

This came to a head yesterday. I was changing a nasty diaper when we had this exchange:
LILY: Ow, daddy!
ME: I'm sorry, does that hurt?
L: Yeah!
ME: What hurts, honey?
L: Loki put his finger in my 'gina.
ME: Loki put his finger in your vagina?
L: Yeah!
ME: Dear god, I hope that isn't true.
I mean, of course it isn't true. But still, it was just about the most alarming thing I've ever heard come out of my child's mouth.

Our shower has some of the little girls foam letter shapes in it right now, left over from the last mommy-daughter shower. The Scientist and I took turns spelling things and letting the other discover them during their shower. Since the selection was just W, G, N and U, the combinations where limited. I was pretty proud of my WUGZ (turning the "N" sideways so it looked like a "Z") until the next day I saw that my wonderful wife had turned the U upside-down (so it sorta looked like an "A") to spell WANG.

When I got into the shower this morning I saw that the shower wall now read MY JUNK. I accused The Scientist of purposefully bringing in specific letters, but she swore that it was just a random handful before the last shower. This excuse was given a little credibility when I noticed that there was a leftover V and G.

I, of course, took this opportunity to alter her message to say MY GUNK. And to really drive home the point, I positioned the J to be violating the V.

This is why our marriage works.

And in an odd synchronicity, just as I was racking my brain for one more item to fill out this posting, I came (again) across this tagging/meme thingy, (most recently here), and figured I'd jump on the bandwagon, too.

Four jobs I've had:
  1. Busboy
  2. Water-treatment plant worker (which was exactly as glamorous as it sounds)
  3. Phone customer service drone
  4. Chef garde manger (threw that in just to sound fancy)
Four movies I can watch over and over:
  1. The Incredibles (which is fortunate, since Lily demands to see this flick at least once a day
  2. Streets of Fire
  3. The Shawshank Redemption (which makes it seem like I'm copying Midwesty, but I'm a sucker for buddy movies anyway... add in a little anal rape and I just can't resist)
  4. Napoleon Dynamite
Four places I've lived:
  1. On the campus of The Ohio State University
  2. Near the campus of The Ohio State University
  3. Grandview Heights, OH
  4. Cleveland, OH
Jeez... not exactly well-traveled, am I?

Four TV shows I love:
  1. My Name is Earl
  2. Battlestar Galactica
  3. How I Met Your Mother
  4. Survivor
Four places I've vacationed:
  1. Allegany National Forest Reserve, PA
  2. Various North Carolinian beaches
  3. Honolulu, HI (honeymoon counts, right?)
  4. Richmond, VA
Four of my favorite dishes:
  1. Pfaltzgraff diner plate (Heritage pattern)
  2. Pfaltzgraff soup tureen (Heritage pattern)
  3. Pfaltzgraff "cereal lovers" bowl (Heritage pattern)
  4. Pfaltzgraff large platter (Heritage pattern)
Four sites I visit daily:
  1. Google (homepage)
  2. Defective Yeti
  3. Laid-off Dad
  4. PVP
Four places I would rather be right now:
  1. Home, playing with the girls
  2. Home, hanging out with my wife
  3. Home, trying to finally finish Pharaoh
  4. The BP on the corner, picking the Mega-Millions Jackpot winning numbers
Four bloggers I am tagging:
  1. None; papa don't play that.


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