Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#118 In which our hero's daughter makes him laugh.

Read an article in today's paper about parenting. I'm drawn to these things now that I am a parent... but, sadly, I generally just read the first paragraph or two before saying something like, "eh, this is queer" and turning to the funnies.

But, I do fret about being a good parent (or, at least a good father. I'm probably a shitty mother). I try to be patient and listen and all that crap, and I think that by and large I succeed. I'm only talking about parenting Lily here. Macey is only eight months old and "good parenting" in her regard is pretty much picking her up when she cries. And making sure she doesn't crawl head-first down the stairs. I need to watch that one.

But Lily walks and talks and, by god, REASONS. This can be challenging. Once upon a time, when father spoketh it, it was true. Now, I tell Lily she can't have any more Count Chocula because it's all gone and she just looks over at the box on the counter, as if to say, "Dude, I'm looking right at it and I know damn well there's more in there."

And since she's not of a mind to casually take no for an answer, there have been melt downs. Holy lord, have there been melt downs. Now, most of the time, they're pretty funny. If Lily wants something and you tell her no, her first reaction is to fall to the floor and cry. And I do mean first reaction... she is already on her way down before I've articulated the "O" in no. It's like "Honey, you've had enough cookies" is the code word for the sniper to take her out.

But yesterday we reached new heights.

Yesterday the meltdown started because I wouldn't crawl into a cardboard box with her. She not only hit the deck, but this time she actually beat her hands and feet on the floor. Just like in the movies.

It was hilarious.

But, of course, you can't laugh at your child at a time like that, so I sat on the floor, let her go for a second, then asked her to stop crying and talk to me. But man, it was all I could do to not laugh out loud.

But, later in the day, when she had pulled this same stunt about 176 times? Not so funny anymore.


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