Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#119 In which our hero sees into the future.

Have you heard of this Web site, Future Me ? I don't remember where I first heard about it, but something triggered my memory and I went back to check it out today.

So, in case you're too lazy to click over there and see for yourself, the deal is this: you can compose an email and "send it to the future," i.e., stick it into a database somewhere to be delivered at a future date. Pretty cool, huh?

I know I did this a couple of years ago, but I've either not hit the target date yet, or the thing just didn't work. I haven't changed email addresses in a long time, so it should come through if it worked. Honestly, I have no memory of what I wrote to myself.

But anyway, the interesting part of the site is that you can read other people's messages to themselves. I expected to find a lot of "did you meet the career goals you outlined eight years ago?" or "are you still married to Phillip?" sort of messages, but what I wasn't expecting was just how stupid some people are.

A random sampling, with my astute commentary:
Dear Me,
I hope you have had a great 40 years. What are you now, a neurosurgeon? Or did you drop out of med school sometime after I wrote this? Hope you have a great life (now that your 40).


2005 Me
Not bad... sent some five years into the future, inquiring about medical school. My only complaint is the "your." I don't understand why it is so difficult for people to differentiate between "your" and "you're." "You're" is a contraction of "you are." ("... you're 40," is what the guy should have written) and "your" is a possessive ("... we'll take your car.") Simple, right?
Dear Nathan,
Greetings. I am speaking to you from 1 year ago! Today was New Years Eve and will be 2006 in a few hours. Here are some things you should have accomplished by now:
1]Made a studio quality album with vocals
2]Started teaching, earning a salary
3]Gotten pretty buff, better posture
4]Moved out or at least about to.
5]Had sex with AT LEAST 4 more girls (making the total 12 (not counting prostitutes): Abby, Erin, Liz, Alicia, Tonya, Martha, Krystle, Sandra...)

So anyway, how's life? I'm sure it's great as usual. I predict you will have had sex with more than 4 girls and Hillary Clinton is the next president. Also, you talk to Krystle and Abby by now. You haven't moved yet?! Your already 23 man, get a life. By the way, I love you more than anyone else. You are my idol.
I respect that moving out of mom's basement is more important than getting laid, but just! "... not counting prostitutes." Awesome. Reach for the stars, my man! You're MY idol, too!
Dear FutureMe,
today is a special day for you , because today you are celebrated for becoming you . be please that you are free to choose to go forth and remind yourself of the past , and to be whatever you will become , the future is unlimited that will never be out of your reach unless you want it to be so have a great day ahead and a exciting years after
Yeah, okay, pretty typical self-affirmation, useful if you're into that sort of thing, I guess. But here's the best part: allows you to set the date you want this message to be sent... as far into the future as 2036. This person choose to send the message ONE MONTH into the future! Holy crap! Is your life really so grim that you need to email yourself a month at a time just to get through the day?
Dear FutureMe,
whats going on
Dear PastMe,

Nuthin' much, still getting stoned.
Dear FutureMe,
How are you !I want to know if you love ZHY as much as you did 2 years ago! Now, I'm tell you I promise Iwill love her forever ,can you do it? Tomorry is her beathday ,and I wish I can give her happiness!3 years later ,how much have you give her?
By all means don't forget her beathday! I hope she liked the beathday cake you bought, and the nice beathday present! How much have you give her? I don't know... but I hope she have give you a book on grammar.
Dear future me,
Ryan, its me... actually its you from three years ago. I'm just reminding you that *THEY* still know. *THEY* still know. Don't forget that. If *THEY* ever get to you, remember not to divulge the information. If *THEY* find out, the resistance is over. We will defeat the machines.
This one was delivered in 2004... Christ, did I miss the uprising? Hail the machines!


Post a Comment

<< Home