#038 In which our hero hates this war.

I hate this war.

I hate every damn thing about it... I hate that my country is now the most hated and reviled nation on Earth, I hate that 18-year-old kids are dying on foreign sand, I hate that our president has, at best, executed an ill-advised invasion based on bad information, and at worst, lied to all of us - knowingly, and without remorse.

I hate that by even voicing these opinions that some people will label me "unpatriotic." I hate that a friend of mine will read this and be disappointed in me.

I hate that Iraqi insurgents are killing our troops with homemade bombs and American made rocket launchers and the media is slammed for putting a negative spin on their coverage. A negative spin on war.

I hate that even if John Kerry is elected in a few months, that this war won't change. We're already there, we've made a god-awful mess of the country, so a unilateral pull out now would be even more devastating than the thousands of tons of bombs we have already dropped. I hate the feeling that I've brought a child into a bad, bad world, and maybe it was a mistake.

But, throughout it all, I've managed to remain a little distant. I don't know anyone that's in Iraq, or going to Iraq. No-one from my home town has been killed. There are no black banners in my neighborhood. None of my friends have been activated.

Until yesterday.

The news came via email. A friend of mine has been called up, and will be in Iraq early next month. She's not a great friend, we don't call each other on the phone and chat, we don't make special trips to spend time with one another. But she is a friend... I'd help her move, I've spent the night at her and her husband's house... and their 7-year-old. Good Lord, how do you tell a 7-year-old that mommy is going off to war and may not come back?

I was furious with my government... now I just feel scared. And I hate that; angry was much easier to deal with.

I hate this war.

Stay safe, Natalia.