Skrip - tyur' - i - ent: adj. Possessing the violent desire to write.


#121 In which our hero scars his child for life.

Generally speaking, I think I'm doing a pretty good job of being a dad. But it's an odd thing, y'know? I've been a father now for about two and a half years (and the father of two for nine months), so you'd think I have enough experience to get the job done. But, it doesn't work out like that, does it? I mean, as soon as I have a system down for dealing with a crawling baby, she starts to walk. Just when I figure out methods to keep her entertained, she matures and finds the old stuff, "boring." That, by the way, is Lily's new big phrase: Is boring. "Honey," I say, "Do you want to watch Bob the Builder?" "No, Bob is boring." Or better yet, in the middle of a movie (one which she asked for not 10 minutes ago), she decides that "this is boring!" and stops the DVD player. Oh yeah, she's figured out how to put in and take out her own movies, too.

So anyway, the Internet has been a great entertainment resource, and has yet to become boring. However, The Scientist and I have been a little lax in the supervision department (and it's mostly my fault, to be honest).

First, there was DOOM (which isn't an Internet game, I know, but to Lily it's all "on the 'puter"). She liked to sit on my lap while I played, and it was a good way to keep her entertained for 15 minutes or so; and help daddy hone his first-person shooter skills at the same time. Well, then we were playing the "scary monster game" as Lily likes to call it, when a monster popped up and she said, quite clearly and calmly, "Daddy, kill it."

And that's where I pulled the plug. She isn't traumatized by the game in any way, but I can't have her going around encouraging people to kill things. Poor father as I may be, I get that lesson, at least.

Now, Lily also loves the movie, The Incredibles." Which is cool, because I love it, too, and can watch it multiples times a day. At some point, Lily started picking up her large wooden number 7, holding it like a gun, pointing it at me and saying, "I said freeze!" This, of course, is her re-enacting the scene in The Incredibles where Mr. Incredible and Frozone are mistaken for bad guys, and the cop pulls his gun on them. As this is gun play, even of the mildest sort, it did give me pause... but I' not sure Lily really makes the connection between a gun and shooting people, so I decided to not make a big deal about it and maybe make the situation worse.

Now, the latest. Have you seen the site with 30-second recreations of movies, acted out by bunnies? Hilarious stuff. Take, for example, the one for Pulp Fiction. Really funny, and dead on. Now, there is a "shit" in there, and a "bitch," I think, and maybe I should be more worried about this kind of language, but I'm not. At least, not yet. First time Lily lays down the F-bomb in daycare will change things, I imagine.

But, take a look at the bunny-movie for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Seriously, watch it... it'll make the next part all the more horrible to read.

It's all bunnies and funny, right? The other day Lily picked up her trusty #7, turned it around and put it in her mouth and said, "you're all gonna die."

Good. Lord.

Needless to say, that was it for bunny movies. A few months ago, this wouldn't even be an issue. Now, the little girl is keenly aware of what she sees on TV (and on the 'puter) and likes to play act selected scenes. Why did she choose the scene where the bunny blows her own head off? I have no idea. Would it be any better if she chased her daddy around with a pretend chainsaw? Probably not.

So, yeah, I'm still learning. Can't wait to see what kind of screw-ups I make when the girls and 14 and 16 years old. I may be putting the #7 in my own mouth by then.


Post a Comment

<< Home