HEAD CRED

Never before have people been so interested in my hair. First everyone was amazed that I actually shaved my head; now everyone is interested in my plans for the future: Are you going to grow it back? Will you keep it shaved? How long are you going to let it get? Are you growing back the goatee?

And, I’ve also found that not only are people interested in my melon, they are influenced by it, too. In a good way. Allow me to illustrate.

Couple of days ago I ran into Dillard’s to pick up a new pair of shoelaces for my Docs. The shoe department guy (a rather tired looking man in an ill-fitting suit) said that the style of shoe I had wasn’t available in the states any more, and they didn’t have shoelaces that would fit it. One’s made by Doc Martens, at least. So I asked if he had any that would fit, I didn’t really care if they were the signature yellow laces that I already had (and had to knot where they broke). He came out with some fancy-pants Italian brand that was brown. They fit nicely. “What’s this going to cost me?” I asked.

Nothing, he said. You can just have them.

Then, yesterday, I went to the Chinese restaurant near our house to pick up dinner. I ordered and paid, and as I was waiting, the nice lady behind the counter handed me a can of Coke. “Here,” she said. “For while you wait.” She must have read the confused look on my face, because she said, “Oh, do you want a different one?” I told her that the Coke would be fine.

So, yeah, free stuff.

Coincidence, you say? Well, people didn’t start giving me free stuff until after I shaved my head. I see direct cause and effect.

For years I kept this money-maker under wraps. Now that it is revealed to the world, there may be no limit to its power!

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