DAUGHTER FODDER

Whenever someone asks me if there was anything about fatherhood that I didn't expect, I say that I expected to love my children (eventually, as it turned out), I expected to feel protective of them, and I expected them to be terribly cute... but I never expected them to be so funny.

These kids make me laugh every day. And every time one of them does something that makes me laugh, I think I need to remember this so I can post it to my blog! But I never do. Sometimes because it's just funny in the moment, or it's so esoteric to our family that it wouldn't be funny to anyone else, or sometimes because it is just so stupid that I don't like to admit that it made me laugh. Like farts. Any time either of the girls farts, it's good for a chuckle.

But Lily did something earlier this week that made me laugh.

She apparently learned rock-paper-scissors at school, and wanted to play with me. But she didn't have it quite right.

LILY: Daddy! Daddy! Let's play!
ME: Play what, honey?
LILY: Play craft paper, stone, horse!
ME: Wait, what is it?
LILY: Craft paper, stone, horse!
ME: Huh. Honey, do you mean rock-paper-scissors?
LILY: Yeah!

So we play a couple of rounds, and I tell her paper covers rock, scissors cut paper, etc.

LILY: Daddy! Let's play something else!
ME: Okay, what do you want to play?
LILY (looking around) Let's play... um... rock, stove, rug!
ME: Sure!

So we play a couple rounds of rock-stove-rug (rug is in front of stove, rock breaks stove, rug covers rock) then Lily wants to play another game. This time it's Polly Pockets, horse, chair (Polly Pockets sits on chair, horse jumps over Polly Pockets, chair... jeez, I don't know what the chair does). This goes on for some time until she gets bored of it.

See? That's probably only funny to me.

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