#039 In which our hero speaks of sisters and scientists.

Over this past Labor Day weekend, we packed up the entire family and drove to Virginia to visit my sister and her family. This was a potentially volatile situation, because my sister doesn't like The Scientist overmuch. And here's why:

My family owns a small hunting cabin in the Allegheny National Forest Reserve in Pennsylvania. It's been in my family for years, and my childhood involved at least three trips up there a year. It's absolutely beautiful, but primitive. And when I say primitive, I mean no-running-water-and-outhouse primitive. So it's not exactly a luxury getaway, but I love it.

Shortly before we were married, The Scientist and I went up there for a family gathering. And we took our big dumb dog. Now, Tucker is about 100 pounds, so he's a considerable amount of dog. And, I may have mentioned this before, he doesn't really like kids. I think it's a height thing, actually... if you're tall enough, he doesn't seem to mind. But if you're at eye level - he's not good with that. There's all sorts of growling if you get close, and there has been one biting incident that I'm aware of. But the kid totally had it coming.

So we go up with the dog, and my sister brings her kids, who are five and seven at the time, I think. In other words, right at the height that makes my dog nervous. Knowing this, we warned everyone that the dog isn't really that good around children, and maybe if they could steer clear a bit it would be better for everyone.

My sister then explained to us that her kids haven't been around dogs that much, and might be very excited to see a dog and want to play with him. And that's where the problem began.

The Scientist was hyper-aware that her dog (and he really is her dog, I'm just along for the ride) might very well bite these kids, and she wanted to avoid that at all costs. Plus, she had really just met my sister, and having her dog taste one of her children wouldn't be putting the best foot forward, as it were. So she was really protective of the dog... he couldn't get up and shift position without her jumping up and making sure he didn't, I dunno, rush at one of the kids like a maniac. Which wasn't going to happen anyway. But any time one of the kids got near him she shooed them away and repositioned the dog. The end result was that to the casual observer, she had a vicious dog that needed constant vigilance.

Naturally, my sister saw all of this. You could almost hear her thinking "Sweet Christ why in the world would you bring a vicious dog to a small cabin in the middle of the forest where there's nothing to eat but acorns and my children? How irresponsible to put everyone at risk like that, why wouldn't you kennel that beast - or better yet have him destroyed?"

And, I could almost hear (and when I say almost I mean exactly hear her on the way home) my wife say "What's so hard about controlling your kids? All she needed to do was to tell them to keep their distance and not pester the dog and all would be well. But no-ooo, she let them run around like little animals doing whatever they wanted and bug my dog and I had to spend the entire weekend making sure no-one went home with teeth marks in their leg!"

And since then, it's been a little tense.

However, I am pleased to report that the Virginia trip went well. It was even The Scientist's idea to go, an olive branch of sorts. Now, I haven't gotten a debrief from my other sisters yet, so maybe my sister still hates my wife. But I don't think so.

But if she does, I'm totally siccing my dog on her.